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Fun on the Table, or A New Baby

So as you know, my pregnancy was high-risk.  I talked a little bit about problems I was having here, and went all crazy and maudlin here.  Still, we made it to zero hour - but not any further.  My uterine window actually burst open while I was up on the operating table.  If that had happened any earlier, I wouldn't be sitting here typing with a beautiful new baby in one arm - and quite possibly wouldn't be here at all.

Joe got to see it happening (I miss all the interesting stuff!) and said it looked like when you squeeze a water balloon until it pops.  Once it happened, everybody ran around the room all crazy.  Fun fun fun!  I was lying there completely oblivious, which I'm sure is for the best.  They didn't need me freaking out.  They got the baby out safely, and my doc sewed everything up.  All my nurses were nice (I love that hospital's maternity ward) and we went home after three full days, as usual.

As they say, all's well that ends well; and my absolutely gorgeous, newest little boy definitely counts as well. 

Writer's Block: Chatty Cathy

I talk to my husband far more than anyone else.  He is my best friend, after all :)

Scary Stuff

Not so much fun today.  It started with two really strong contractions; I was out running errands and I guess I overdid it.  Unfortunately Joe has been sick lately so I've been stepping it up, and apparently I stepped it up too much.  I drove home immediately (with my back hurting like a sonofabitch the whole time) and sat in Joe's blue chair.  I told Joe I'd had contractions; he told me to stay there and relax.  My back didn't get any better though, and the left side of my incision started hurting really, really badly.  I put a pillow behind my back and my feet up, and that pain went away... for a little bit.  I started having minor contractions every 5-10 minutes (which ended up lasting 3 hours).

I called my doctor and he said to take it easy and to call him back if the contractions got stronger; but he isn't worried about minor contractions by themselves, only if they turn into serious labor.  So that's a relief.  This whole time I was under the impression that any minor contraction could rip a gaping hole in my uterus.  Good to know it's only the big ones I have to worry about!

Still and all, I need to take things easy.  I'm only 31 weeks along and this baby needs more time.

Maudlin Ramblings

I'm normally pretty reasonable.  I'm normally able to keep my emotions out of the equation.  I'd say this is different because I'm pregnant, but let's face it, I've literally been pregnant more often than not during my marriage!  Regardless, this is an issue that, for obvious reasons, is extremely difficult to be calm, reasonable, and unemotional about.

I don't want to die, and because of certain aspects of this pregnancy, there is a very good chance that I will.  (Not that I admit it to my family; I try to keep up a cheerful face.)

I'm not even concerned about the whole is-there-life-after-death or will-I-make-it-into-heaven issues; believe it or not, those are the last things on my mind.  What bothers me the most is that I am still needed here.  My boys need me.  My husband needs me.  I'm not done here yet!

My boys are still so young.  Yes, they are growing up fast - too fast in my opinion - but they are still so young!  They need a mommy!  Who else can kiss Raph's booboos away?  Who can instantaneously make little Donny stop crying just by picking him up?  Who is going to let Mikey win at video games?  Who is going to take time to listen to all of Leo's stories and ideas?  Joe is a good dad - no, he's a great dad - but I am their MOMMY.  This is what I do.  When Raph is hurt, or sad, he wants ME.  Same for little Donny.  Leo is still caught up in this big Mr.-Tough-Guy idea, and won't say "I love you" to anyone except me.  They need their mommy!

And what on earth would Joe do without me?  He can't quit his job and he certainly can't afford daycare for four, possibly five children.  (Not sure if my currently-in-utero baby would make it if I didn't.)  My family is "too busy" to help, I'm sure.  His mom would hopefully offer to help out - actually I'm quite sure she would - but, no offense to Joe's mom, who is a lovely person and very sweet and selfless, but Joe needs more than a mother.  He needs a loving partner and companion.  My husband and I are uniquely suited to one another, and his whole life would be thrown out of balance if I was gone.  I cheer him up when he's feeling down, bring him back to earth when he needs a dose of reality, encourage him when he's bummed out, and understand him.  We can have deep philosophical discussions or veg out in front of the tv; we can play chess, scrabble, or a game of cards; we can go on destination road trips for hours on end, drive aimlessly through the surrounding countryside, or stay at home; any of that is fine with us and we will enjoy each other's company just the same.  If there is such a thing as soul mates, then that is what we are; if there's not, then we're the closest thing to it.

Then there's all the selfish reasons.  I don't want to miss my boys growing up.  I don't want to never meet my grandchildren.  I don't want to leave Joe with only a few short years of memories, and all of our hopes and dreams and plans unfulfilled.  I'm not exactly a spring chicken, but there is so much more to life that I don't want to miss out on!

This pregnancy was not intentional.  We were trying very hard not to get pregnant, as per doctor's orders, and we slipped up, and oops - here I am, contemplating eternity.

I'm going to write letters to each of my children, in case something happens.  I don't want them to ever forget how much I love them.  I mean, I know they will forget - or never really know in the first place because they are so young, which breaks my heart - but I want to leave them a reminder, something they can keep, that will tell them how I feel and let them know that no matter what happens, no matter where I am, I will always love them.

I am the father.

Michelangelo noticed Joe's watch up on a shelf, and he grabbed it and slid it all the way up to his bicep.  Even then it was loose and kept sliding down to his elbow, so he crooked his arm and kept it pulled tight against his body, to stop the watch from sliding.

"I am the father," he told me, in a deeper-than-usual voice.

"Oh you are, are you," I smiled.

In all seriousness, he replied, "Yes, I am the father.  I come from Father's Day."  Then he pointed to Leo's toy laptop, which he had been playing with at the kitchen table.  "I am doing homework."

"Doing homework, that's good," I complimented him.

He sat very seriously at the kitchen table, "doing homework."  Once, he got up and walked into the living room to inform his brothers, "I am the father and I am doing homework, ok kids?"  Leo was surprised but didn't argue, and that was good enough for Mikey, who came back to the table satisfied.  "I am the father," he repeated to me.

"Ok, Daddy," I told him.

"I am not Daddy.  I am a father," he corrected me.  I apologized.  Apparently, although the father figure he was emulating was precisely Joe (hence the watch and the homework) he wasn't specifically being Joe, just a generic father.

"What do you want to do when I am done with my homework?" he asked.

"Hmm," I thought fast about what Joe and I usually do when he finishes his homework, "we could watch Stargate."

"Yes," Mikey was quite pleased.  "We can watch Stargate, <RL name redacted>."  I was a bit shocked that he used my actual name, but I didn't make an issue of it since he was pretending to be a grownup.  Children learn through play, after all, and he was just exploring what being a father means.  He kept it up for a good hour, and then got distracted.  It was adorably cute while it lasted, though!

Funny things my kids said at dinner today

Leonardo: There's chicken in your casserole, Michelangelo!
Michelangelo (being silly): No it's not, YOU'RE a chicken!

Leonardo: Well, I don't really like pineapple.
Me: What do you mean you don't like pineapple?
Leonardo: Well, there's a problem with pineapple.  You and Dad don't really rinse out my bowl.
Me: So the problem isn't the pineapple, the problem in your bowl.
Leonardo: No, the problem is... what's the word... POLLUTION!

Toy Story 3

The movie Toy Story 3 is available to watch on Netflix's Instant Queue, and the kids enjoy it (although not every day, thank goodness).  There are a couple of little things I wanted to record for posterity.

There is a scene where the stuffed bear, the baby doll (he's like one of those life-size babies with the cloth bodies and plastic extremities) and a clown doll get lost.  They finally make it back to their house, only to find that their little girl has got a new stuffed bear since they were lost.  They are standing in the rain outside the little girl's bedroom window and the baby tries to go back to the window.  The bear grabs him and rips off his locket (with the little girl's name) and yells at him that the girl doesn't love him anymore, and drags him away, as the baby cries.  Watch the whole scene here...Collapse )
Michelangelo cries every time he sees that scene.  The first couple of times he just sat by himself on the couch, crying, and I went and sat next to him and tried to console him.  Now, he comes and buries his face in my shoulder and cries.

The second thing happened for the first time today, although he has done it a few times randomly in the past hour, too.  At the end of the movie Raph came up to me and smiled real big and gave me a hug and said, "A best friend, Mommy?"  I replied, "Am I your best friend?"  He said, "Yeah, best friend."  So I told him that he was my best friend, too.  It's so sweet!

Mad Libs by Leo

Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned from Indiana Jones
Mad Lib by Leonardo

X never marks the bathtub (except when it does).
Never trust anyone who likes to pass gas in his or her sleep.
You can lose your tutu, but always keep your hat on your nose.
The pen is mightier than the desert.
Always help out a/an Vivi in need.
Archaeology is the search for fact, not people.
Always learn the language of the country you're dying in.
When someone offers you a plate of ballet dancers, always eat it.
No matter what, always keep your Deathwings close and your Alliance scums closer.

Cute Kid Story

There are so many cute things that my kids do and say.  A lot of it is in *how* they do or say it, which kind of makes the retelling less than stellar.  Like when Mikey asked if Leo could have bonus time to help him (Mikey) build a level in Indiana Jones 2, and I said yes but cautioned Leo to remember that Mikey was in charge... and Mikey's whole face lit up and he got this big smile and said, "Mommy.... I'M in charge??" and I told him, "Yes, you are," and he said, "AWESOME!!!!"  Now, that's kind of a cute story to retell, but what really made it adorable was watching his whole face light up, and seeing his dimple pop out, and hearing the total excitement in his voice at the thought of being in charge (lol!).  These days are so precious... I have a horrible memory, but I hope that I never forget that look.

Father's Day Dilemma

Me: "So, boys, Father's Day is on Sunday. You should do something special for Daddy, because he's your father, don'cha think?" Various nods and agreement.  "So, what do you think we could do for him?"

Michelangelo: "I think Daddy should have a present for Father's Day."

Me: "Okay, that is a nice idea.  I think Daddy would like a present.  What present do you think he would like?"

Michelangelo: "He will like a present with his name on it."

Me: "Okay... <snicker> ... like what?"

Michelangelo: "Like... a snowman inside!"

After a bit of digging, I realize he is talking about a snow globe. I explain that you generally can't buy those this time of year, and ask for more suggestions.  I get "bionicles" (the boys' favorite toy), "a hug and a kiss," and "a song."  Those are a little difficult to wrap (other than the bionicles, but I explained that even though the boys like that, it's not Daddy's favorite toy lol).  Ultimately... well I probably shouldn't post the result of the discussion, even though the probability of Joe reading this post is like one in a zillion.  :P


vivi with indy hat
Queen of Entropy

Latest Month

October 2011

Cast of Characters:

Joe: my husband, a USAFR firefighter

Leonardo "Leo": son, age 9

Michelangelo "Mikey": son, age 3.5

Raphael "Raph": son, age 1.5

Donatello "Donny": son, born Sept. 2010



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